I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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