Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
