The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he laminated a picture of his dick.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
