i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
