You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
