i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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