I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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