I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
