then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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