Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
