And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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