She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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