i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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