i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
