I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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