how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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