I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
