I bet he comes in French.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
