So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
