So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
