Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
