Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
