is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
