Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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