Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
