Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
