You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We have started to decorate penises.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
