We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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