I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
