Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I forget how to act sober
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