I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
