I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
