You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
