I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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