Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
