we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
