I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just had sex on a roof
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
