Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
