I feel great
I just peed on a car
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
