You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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