there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
