dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
40s are totally the cure
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
