I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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