Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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