you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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