Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
