it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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