I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
