Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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