I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
