i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
